Just a brief overview of the phenomenal lengths the overlords have gone to in order to ensure the entire country watches a sports' game this evening:

*Giant mobile phone companies giving unlimited free data to all customers from 6pm;

*Huge multinational chains sending their staff home early so they can watch the match;

*Thousands of pubs giving away free beer to people who come in to see the game;

*Schools encouraging children to come in late on Monday so they can stay up to watch the match;

*Traffic road signs which have been nothing but Covid for 16 months now beseeching people to watch football;

*NHS Trusts making free private televisions available to patients so they can watch the match.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. When in the entirety of the country's history has this amount of effort (and colossal amount of money) gone into encouraging people to do something? And something as trivial as (sorry, football fans, but you already hate me for saying the last time England was in the final was 1066.... but fear not! I know it was 1906 really) watching a sports' game?

Make no mistake: they want all eyes on this event for a reason, and that reason is - as ever when the overlords pour a huge amount of resources into something - not benevolent. If you believe all this effort is going into getting your eyes glued to the screen this evening because the government loves you and wants to give you a treat after you've been such a good boy this year, staying in your cage with your muzzle on when they told you to, you're on the wrong page.

There is a sinister spectacle planned for this evening (or possibly the early hours of tomorrow), and they want to make sure none of us misses it.

Usual tedious disclaimer that I could be wrong and hope I am, but there's no harm in taking a few sensible precautions like making sure you have a good supply of day-to-day staples, that devices are well charged, and that you take a bit of cash out of the bank, as I think at the very least there's going to be a shutdown of sorts on Monday and normal services could be difficult to access.

My popcorn maker is going to be in heavy use tonight.... (seriously one of the most exciting purchases I have ever made; it's ALMOST on par with the free coffee machine we got sent for purchasing home insurance *takes sip of class-A-strength coffee* . Almost.)