(Satire... Obviously it's necessary to qualify such things at the moment!)

I realised this morning that I am a member of a very special group - a group that society, in all its bigoted ignorance, tries to otherise, pathologise, and "treat". They call us "short-sighted" and "myopic", labels clearly designed to spread prejudice and hate. What we are, in fact, is visually diverse, and it's time to recognise us as a vibrant community, and embrace the wonderful gifts our diversity brings.

Visual diversity has always existed. Therefore, it is clearly obvious that this is a natural and healthy human variation which does not require any so-called "treatment". What we actually require is acceptance. If you bigots could realise it is natural and normal to have constantly blurry vision and to walk into things, then we visually diverse people would flourish as nature intended. But instead, you subject us to your invasive, discriminatory "eye tests", and oppressive, fascist contraptions such as "glasses". It is clear that nothing but hatred drives your agenda.

If you could stop being so ignorant and intolerant, you would realise that our walking into people and out in front of cars is not antisocial or dangerous, it's just different. The problem is your attitude, not our behaviour.

Many of the world's greatest minds have been visually diverse. Therefore, I think I can safely state that visual diversity is a direct cause of extraordinary genius, and, I might even obnoxiously insinuate, actually rather superior to being visually typical.

The reason so much hatred and bigotry exists for the visually diverse community is because of oppressive, ableist labels such as "blind". Not all members of the visually diverse community are blind, therefore it is obvious only those with the mildest visual impairments are the proper representatives of the visually diverse community. That is why we must dispose of this exclusionary and anti-intersectional term "blind", and replace it with "visual spectrum disorder", to ensure no real distinction is made between people who just need glasses to read, and those who are completely unable to see. Anyhow, I don't really believe in the existence of "blind" people, because the Guardian hasn't written an article about them.

All these quack "opticians" who claim there is something wrong with the visually diverse are obviously just in it for the money, and people who claim to have been helped by these charlatans are simply deluded, brainwashed fools. Ophthalmology is nothing but a right-wing cult and conspiracy theory.

Worst of all are the parents of visually diverse children, who, rather than embracing this unique and special gift, are unable to accept their child isn't "perfect". They cruelly torment their children by trying to force them to conform to visual-typical norms, such as being able to read, when reading is purely a social construct enforced by the patriarchy. Random indigenous tribes from hundreds of years ago couldn't read, therefore we should promote illiteracy as natural and desirable also.

I call for full recognition of visual diversity as a vibrant gift which enriches people, families and communities, and a complete boycott of all so-called "treatments". It is time for a Visual Diversity Act, akin to the 1939 Cancer Act, to make promoting the treatment of visually diverse conditions a crime. If you disagree, it is because you hate all short-sighted people, and would rather they were dead. But I knew you were a Nazi anyway, because you disagreed with me on something once before.